I’m afraid of loosing him.

Hi guys. I don’t know if anyone has ever experienced childhood trauma before. When I was younger my parents fought all the time, and I was abused daily by my mom while my dad worked multiple shifts to care for me and my brother. Both parents have abused me. My dad physically hurt me, and my mom abused me mentally physically and emotionally. She blamed me for the reason why my dad wanted a divorce. Literally I was broken as a child. Forced to grow up and it was heart breaking. Now i am 23 , and Im in a relationship with a man who is so wonderful. I’ve had so many people in the past say I have to work on myself and I do that. But no matter how many years I take to myself the one issue I have is how do I relieve my frustrations or express feelings without exploding on someone? My bf worries when I say I need to drive to clear my head and I don’t want to make him feel like I’m pushing him away.

I want to be better at communicating and I talk more about my feelings and am open. But sometimes i also feel like he will never understand trauma. He is a religious man, who grew up and had a much better life than I did. ( least I think so because he was never abused)