How do you deal with a loss ?

Question

I just had a miscarriage on September 7th, I must say I have my moments here and there where I go through pictures of my belly or little things I had bought. 
How soon is ok to try again ? I feel like if it happens again I would be happy but not fully because of what happened. Living on an edge every moment worried of what might happen.

Answer

first of all i am so sorry for you loss. there's no right words to say and i know the "i'm sorry" 's get old. if your doctor didn't tell you a time frame to wait then i assume you don't have one, just whenever you mentally feel ready. but it's always good to call and make sure! i went into premature labor and delivered my baby boy at 21 weeks in july. the grief is unimaginable until you're in the situation and it hurts me knowing others have the same reality. i was absolutely terrified in the weeks following of getting pregnant again, feeling those contractions again, and losing another baby since its already happened to me there's a greater chance of it happening again. but now it's just an overwhelming want to try again! we get to starting december which is also hard because my due date was dec. 1st. it's something that will always be apart of you and that will always hurt. i put all the photos of my belly and the ultrasounds in a "hidden" album on my phone so it doesn't sting every time i open my photos, but i still look at them anyways. i hold his urn too and look at his hand/foot prints, i know it hurts so much while you do things like that but also it's important to feel those emotions to heal. i would ask your doctor to check your hormone levels as low progesterone can sometimes be the cause, but also sometimes there's just no real reason and that's also scary. but don't worry mama, you'll heal as much as you can and eventually you'll be ready again! you can always message me if you need to, i know it can feel pretty lonely and sometimes you don't want to "burden" others by talking about it but i'm always here

Answer

I lost my first last September. It was visceral, and I really struggled with it. So let me address that - it hurts, and it's okay to let it hurt. But remember that your loss does not define you. Therapy really helped me put into words the emotions I was feeling, especially as my best friend got pregnant around the same time I did. The doctors (I didn't have an OBGYN at the time) told me to wait until I had a period before I tried again, after they traced my HCg levels down to 0. This was as much to help with dating as it was to prevent heartbreak if I tested too soon afterwards. I will say that things ended well for me, and my daughter was born 2 months after my first was due, but pregnancy after loss is a challenge in and of itself. Make sure you have a good support system in place, especially with your doctors. Ask all the hard questions that you have, and don't be afraid to seek out a new doctor if you feel your current one is unsupportive.

Answer

Im so sorry for your loss! It's never easy! After my miscarriage I was hugely paranoid throughout my 2nd pregnancy! We started trying as soon as I could though because this was something both me and my husband wanted very badly. It's all up to you and your partner whether or not you want to try again right away. Don't feel rushed! But I believe the worry will never go away no matter when you get pregnant again,  just know whatever happens you can try again and one day you will have your little one :)

Answer

I’m sorry for your loss I know first hand how your feeling but whenever your feeling ready is best I didn’t conceive until 8 months after my loss but now I have my rainbow she’s 6 months old

How do you deal with a loss ?

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