Me and my fiancé got into a big argument tonight and to keep it short it was about him not contributing. I recently had a miscarriage and am now getting all the bills for the miscarriage which are quite expensive as my Obgyn told me to go to the ER. He feels because it’s my body that having the problem I should pay the bills. Then when fertility treatment was mentioned he feels that since it’s my body having the trouble I should be paying for it, literally speaking and he said if it was his body messing up he would pay for the fertility treatment himself and wouldn’t expect me to contribute. I’d like to hear some thoughts.

No offense but that is someone you should be RUNNING FROM immediately.

So what’s going to happen if you have a baby? Is he going to help pay for any of the cost of raising a child? If he wants kids too he should help pay. In my humble opinion 🤷🏻♀️

You’re not getting pregnant on your own so where’s his responsibility in paying for his share in it?

Your fiancé? Like you’re planning on marrying this man-child? Uh uh. He can help you make a baby and even want fertility treatment, but no financial burden? That’s all the red flags right there.

Does not sound like partner in life. Sorry, this must be terrible to go through, and this guy is making it worse.

So sorry for your loss. But it’s not “your body” having the problem. The embryo wasn’t viable and that could have been because of the egg OR the sperm. Could have been because of him. You are both equally responsible

This sounds like someone I wouldn’t want to be with honestly. It was his child too. And future kids will be his. Will he not want to help pay for labor costs because it’s not his body going through it? It depends on how serious you guys are and if this was an oops pregnancy or if you see a future life with him. It’s Just sad he’s prioritizing $ over you and what you experienced. Idk That would be a deal breaker for me in a serious relationship.

I can’t imagine going through a miscarriage, then getting the bills (I’ve done both, and it’s the worst) and then THEN someone having the nerve to say my body “messed up” so it was my fault. No. I am so angry just thinking about it. None of this is on you alone, I hate that he’s said any of this. It’s his dna, it should be partially his financial responsibility.

Holy shit, honestly, I'm caught on how he could say something so cruel before I can even get to the issue of the money. If my husband had said anything like that to me after my miscarriage, that would have been the end of the relationship. In my worst moments after my miscarriage, I said some pretty negative things about myself and my body, and my husband was so hurt and upset that I would talk negatively about myself like that. He didn't even like *me* feeling like I was broken and my body was a failure, he sure as hell didn't do anything to imply *he* thought that. Your body isn't a car you drive to work, it's *you*, and if he thinks it is exclusively your responsibility to take care of your body after your attempts to carry *his child* caused you trauma and expense, he's a selfish asshole. Women do not *exist* to reproduce. That isn't like your purpose in life. If you had simply not gotten pregnant, you would have no problems now with your body at all. So the problem isn't *your body*, the problem is *pregnancy*, and if he doesn't think that is a shared issue between the two of you... Something is really wrong there.

First if all, sorry for your loss... But Did he help make the child? I'd use this as an opportunity to evaluate your future together, financially and with general support for a partner...

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Who bears the financial cost of treatment ?

Jennifer • Tue, Oct 12

Me and my fiancé got into a big argument tonight and to keep it short it was about him not contributing. I recently had a miscarriage and am now getting all the bills for the miscarriage which are quite expensive as my Obgyn told me to go to the ER. He feels because it’s my body that having the problem I should pay the bills. Then when <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">fertility treatment</a> was mentioned he feels that since it’s my body having the trouble I should be paying for it, literally speaking and he said if it was his body messing up he would pay for the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">fertility treatment</a> himself and wouldn’t expect me to contribute. I’d like to hear some thoughts.

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