I just feel like a Failurešš
Just needing to vent:
So today Iām currently 33+4 weeks and I had my doc appt this morning. I do have GD, take metformin, and insulin. Well I decided to not take my insulin and just do metformin and notice my numbers have been a whole lot better for fasting just a few slightly above 95 but lower than 100. And I notice that throughout the day I prick myself and my number seems high and then I re-prick myself on a different finger and itās lower. So I told my doc all of this and I didnāt expect for my doc to get loud and disappointed at me.
Telling me āwhy are you pricking multiple times, you need to take your insulin.ā And going off telling me ā you are selfish, and donāt care about this baby, I care about this baby more than you!ā
āIāve deliver dead babies before and itās all because the mother is not taking care of herselfā
āItās like you donāt trust me and if thatās the case pick a different doctorā
(I do have ketones in my urine for the past 3-4 weeks) āIām not there to babysit you on what to eat, not sure if you are eating enough caloriesā (oh and my husband is there just sitting listening to what my doc is saying to me and then she randomly tells him āAnd you need to be eating the same thing as herā
She puts all this fear in my face telling me that because Iām ānot taking care of myselfā that Iām putting the baby at risk, that my son can end up dead, or in the NICU hooked with tubes, blind, other medical conditions etc. and mention āyou already got a son with special needs and you donāt want another with special needsā
(My 1st son who is 16 months old was diagnosed with PKD while I was pregnant with him at 21weeks but that just randomly happen, not genetic)
She has made me feel like complete shit and Iāve been upset all day and crying. Iāve told her Iām trying my best. Honestly Itās not easy, I have to be under 120 throughout the day and she mention I can eat certain foods in a very small amount but those certain food in a small amount will be over 120. Iāve been praying for my little boy, hoping that he will come into this world healthy. I just want everything to be normal š
Let's Glow!
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