Disabled

Who's going to want to hangout or befriend/date a 40 year old physically disabled person with a serious congenital heart condition and that is lame and really have no goals in life besides trying to get up and down the steps without having to take a rest after every step. I have to remain unemployed forever. I spend most of the time in bed. I have no one to talk to or friends because since childhood up until now I was just one of those people that people never wanted to be bothered with. I use to be on social media to just browse, but it really depressed me even more to see how everyone is doing well in life and able to take trips, or be outside involved in physical activities or with spouses and/or families . They are able to work and had experiences that I have never had and never will. I had a dog that was my life for 5 years and I pushed myself too much to do things for her such as walk once a day for awhile or go outside and sit with her. She died in last month. She was my world and a huge part of who I was. I really feel guilty and depressed that she had to put up with me and that I couldn't give her the life she deserved. She was my world. I am lost without her. Her death has impacted me tremendously to the point where I just don't care about life in general anymore. It's not like I can have a life of quality anyways. All I can really do is stay inside 24/7, eat, sleep, watch tv or YouTube for the rest of my life. Pretty soon, I'll probably need a caretaker soon