Is this manipulative?

Question

Hello, my name is Destiny and I’m 22 and married. My husband is 30. I met my husband when I was 19. It was like love at first sight. He was everything I could wish for. But he did cheat on me a few times during our relationship. not sexually as he says but over the phone. But anyways every-time he does and I find out, he starts treating me better. He would say things I like to hear. I feel like he does this because he knows what to say to get me back. And every time I do my own thing and talk to other ppl, he gets mad and make me feel guilty about it and makes me cut them off. Even tho he cheats on me but when I move on he gets mad …really. And just recently I found he was cheating again. We been married for 5 months and he already was cheating on me. But now I don’t love him no-more like I used to. My self esteem is low. Ik I’m dumb for staying but I guess I settle for less because I do have a disability and I believe nobody will love me and accept me like he did. Help me and give me advice?

Accepted Answer

This made me sad just reading this. Before I say anything else let me just tell you, you are worth so much more than this. You deserve being in a great relationship with someone who treats you right, shows you love, and gives you what you need. And from reading your post you are not getting it here. No one deserves to be cheated on even once and the fact that it’s happened multiple times, he thinks he can just get away with it because you’re not going to go anywhere. Don’t be anyone’s doormat, it doesn’t matter how “sorry” he is or the right words he says afterwards, this isn’t right and it isn’t healthy. My advice is If you have friends, family or someone close to you who you can talk to about this I suggest you do so because you shouldn’t feel this way and need support to make a decision on what you want to do next because yes his actions are manipulative but there’s also no trust or respect based off of what you have said. And if you’re on the fence about leaving because you’re worried “no one will love you like he did” don’t let that stop you from finding someone that’ll make you truly happy, you’re young, you have so much time to find the right person. But don’t waste it on someone like this who is going to continuously hurt you by talking to other women as this is more than likely going to keep happening.

Answer

I'm sorry you going through this.If you can leave him,leave before it gets worse.He doesn't love you.If he did,he wouldn't cheat on you,Not even just phone.Try to think positive about yourself,because you will find someone who will love you the way you are.You deserve to be happy and not treated like he does.Stay strong and leave him

Answer

Sis, you might think no one else will love you like he does, but they will. That is negative self-talk that he's likely put into your head. He sounds like a total douche! You deserve to love yourself so much that you'd rather be alone and thriving than with this mess if a man. Once you get there, other people will want to be with you because confidence is sexy as Hell and then you can pick the right one for you and just accept someone who acts great for 5 minutes. Remember, you are a freaking GODDESS and you don't need to put up with his mess! I'd suggest leaving for good, blocking him everywhere, filing for divorce, and focusing on yourself.

Answer

This is abusive behaviour. Yes he is manipulative and controlling.

Answer

Girl. You are 22. And what I can tell from your profile picture, absolutely gorgeous. Hear me and believe me when I say you're YOUNG and you have so much life ahead of you, so much potential. If you both want the relationship to work by doing counseling together, go for it. But if it doesn't seem like he's interested in making it work, and honestly sounds like you're just not happy in the relationship, cut your losses and move on. Take some time for you, to heal and live your life. One day you'll meet someone worthy of * you *. ❤ 
I say this all from a place of love and understanding for what you're going through, as I've been there myself.

Answer

There are billions of people on this earth honey someone out here will give you what you want and deserve and if not you give it to you!!!! Don't let NOBODY make you feel like that!!! Trust it's only gonna get worse and he only gonna start getting more foul with it! Once a mf see and get you broken who already don't value you they play on that! I'm not here to judge or tell you to leave because that's YOUR life! What I will tell you is love yourself more than he love you, more than anyone could ever!!! Don't let another human break you sis!!! What he doing is a him thing!!! Thats his character it have nothing to do with you! Peace and light 🌻

Answer

Hey there. Do u have family who u can leave and return to. That sounds like love bombing when he tries to mKe u feel good after he cheats.

Answer

I think you need to tell a family member or friend...help you to pack ur clothes without telling ur husband and just move and once out tell him...file a divorce. I don't say this lightly. I think ppl can work things out if they choose...but this you say been happening even b4 u were married? I don't see how you would be ok with that? That's a lot of trust you have in him rather love for yourself. And I think that's what you need is space and time to focus on loving yourself bc even tho I do think that's manipulative what he is doing and emotional abuse I think this experience for you has made it very hard to love yourself somehow bc if he loved you as much as u trust him he wouldn't be doing things like this constantly....so ease tell a friend

Is this manipulative?

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