Got my BFP- husband told me to have an abortion

This is more of a vent post- really the only person who can help me is me-

I received the shock of my life when I took a random Clearblue pregnancy test.

came up as positive. 🤯

Told my husband and his first response was to complain about how it’s a mistake and it will ruin our lives. That we needed to wait until next year.

He then told me to have an abortion and wait until next year or the year after to have children with him.

Later in the day- he told me to wait until later in the week to go to the clinic. He won’t come with me. I know this. He told me to just wait for a few days.

But I don’t know what I am waiting on.

I am close to 40 years old. Had a miscarriage earlier this year. I don’t know if I have another year or two left to wait.

My other two children died in a car accident 5 years ago.

I am confused and angry and very uncertain about what to do. I have a lot of feelings at the moment. And I don’t know what the end decision will be.