Afraid of my husband cheating

My husband and I are going through a super rough patch in our marriage. The more I tell him my fears and feelings, the more he thinks I’m nagging at him. So he gets really defensive and gets distant. So distant that he says he wants space and privacy and tried to hide his phone from me. Now he says I can have full access to his phone whenever he wants. He has admitted shutting down and getting distant, ignoring our problems, several times and he has been working on it. We fight almost everyday to every few days. Divorce gets brought up in our very heated arguments but neither one of us actually want a divorce, we just get so mad. We both agreed that we don’t mean it. Now with all this being said, he is currently on a business trip. I am so afraid that he will find another woman and leave me. I don’t know why I am so afraid. I guess because our marriage is in such a rocky place. Does anyone else worry about their husband like this or been in this situation ??? I feel crazy. I am so afraid he will cheat on me if he already hasn’t. He swears up and down that he hasn’t. But something just nags at me, whether it be an actual worry or just anxiety.