How different is too different ?

Question

I know people say opposites attract but I feel like there should be more similarities than differences. My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years. As we get older I realize that we might not be compatible anymore. We’re young, 21 and 24. He likes to play soccer and go partying, neither of which I like. He goes on vacation alone because he knows I wouldn’t enjoy myself where he’s going. We were going out for ice cream and I wore leggings and a plain T-shirt, he had on designer and high-end brands so he made me change my clothes. I also like to go out looking good, but I think leggings is fine for a late night ice cream 🤷🏽‍♀️ (he doesn’t even like ice cream, he just watched me eat). I don’t think that our idea of “fun” is the same so we just do what we like individually, but as a couple we also need to do things together which we don’t do. I can’t think of one activity we do together as a couple. The last time we went out on a date was last year December for my birthday. We didn’t do anything for our anniversary, or Valentine’s Day. I just don’t understand our relationship anymore. I feel like there’s definitely more differences but he says that that’s what he likes.
- I wanted to get married and he didn’t but has since changed his mind. We definitely agree on kids. I want to move but he said he’d never move 🤷🏽‍♀️ It’s more than just hobbies, our lifestyles I feel are completely different.

Answer

My partner and I have opposites, he’s an outdoor guy, I’m not, he enjoys playing golf, even when it’s 100° out, you could not get me outside when it’s 100°. Stop looking for what you don’t have in common. Try and find what you do, compromise are part of relationships, but you also have to realize you shouldn’t be the only one making those compromises and sacrifices. You have to realize sometimes you can’t have differences, my partner is 58, and 43, obviously music and movies we can differ. He does his thing, I do my thing, we are both business owners, we both on our own homes, we do not live together. His kids are grown college age, I never had any kids. What we have in common is we’ve been best friends for almost 20 years, business colleagues, we have the same sense of humor, we have the same sexual chemistry, we both have very high sex drives, and he is the most perceptive and attentive partner I’ve ever been with, he even notices from my breath, he can tell my mood, from a text message, if something seems off, I’ve never been with somebody who was so attentive. He knows me better than I know myself, he knows when I am high stressed and have anxiety or I spiral and without, he knows not to try and solve my problems, or to advise me or to try and talk me off the cliff basically, he just knows to let me let it all out, and when I am done, to actually talk to me, not to take it personally, and he knows I just need to get it out because I’m overwhelmed with family or whatever it may be. It’s rarely in issue between the two of us, we have amazing communication, the fact that he’s a lawyer, any issue gets resolved immediately. He talks more than I do. you just need to figure out￼￼ If the things below, align Or are they going to be issues. If you can get past these things, you’re halfway there.

Answer

Do your futures align? Do you have the same goals? It’s ok to have different interests and hobbies, but he shouldn’t be trying to change the way you dress. I knew my husband was the one because we both wanted children, have similar spiritual beliefs, and work as a team.

Answer

Try thinking if this is what you really want, I mean you can be attracted by someone that is very different from you but it's important to compromise, find something you can do together as a couple! Good luck 🤞🏽

How different is too different ?

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