Sex life/marriage

So, this may sound stupid and petty but here it goes.

I BARELY have a sex drive. Period. but there are some days where I actually WANT to have sex.

There have been times that I didn't want to have sex or do anything sexual period but I ended up doing it anyway because my husband wanted it (sex/blow jobs/ etc)

So he has this male masturbation thing that's kind of like a vibrator but it's a cup thing and he uses it A LOT. And last night I came into the room and low key started trying to initiate sex (by kissing and stuff and he knows what it is) and he said "I just want to cuddle I'm tired)

((Keep in mine it's very rare for my sex drive to be up at all and for me to actually want sex))

But anyways, I was kind of upset because he didnt want to have sex, but then be said "I might use this tonight. It's a lot quicker" (referring to his toy) then he said "I dont want to have sex because positions you like I dont like and positions I like you dont like"

So he told me he didnt want to have sex but wanted to masturbate with his toy. So I told him that it made me feel like he wanted the toy more than me and I went to the living room to sleep. Then 10 minutes later he came through to the kitchen and asked me if we had batteries for his toy (which felt like he was rubbing in my face)

(I was upset to the point of wanting to cry because I felt like I wasn't good enough)

Then he said "you're mad because I wont give you the sausage" (making a joke out of my feelings) then he went to masturbate.

It's stupid but I feel like I have a right to be upset. sometimes I want sex when I need that emotional connection with my husband

But I guess a toy is better than me.

Rant over