Single moms

How do you guys do it alone? I’m currently a SAHM. I’ve been with my BD for 6 years. But I’m to the point where I think I want to leave. We have always had a toxic relationship but I’ve never been able to bring myself to leave and now I want to but now that we have a baby idk how. I’m tired of being yelled at daily and being made to feel less than. There are so many double standards, and he is constantly doing things that make me uncomfortable or that he knows I don’t like. Any time I leave the baby with him for more than 20 minutes I get yelled at for being gone too long. He never appreciates the work that I put in to keep the house clean and keep our son happy and healthy, because I don’t bring in money. He calls me names, belittles me, controls me, makes me feel self conscious and unwanted. I feel like a burden. I just can’t do it anymore. But I don’t have a sitter. My step dad keeps offering to babysit so I can work but I can’t trust him to babysit my son bc he has short term memory issues, is blind in one eye so he can’t drive my son anywhere if he needed to, and I know he won’t take care of my son the way I want it to be done bc he is so old school. And I don’t feel like I can trust my BD to have our son for more than a couple hours bc he gets frustrated so easily and gets pissed if he can’t just set him infront of the TV while he goes and does whatever he wants. How do you find a sitter that you can trust? How do you balance work, school, and baby? How do you not feel guilty for breaking the family up? I don’t know what I’m doing. I just want to be happy while taking care of my son and I.