I had my baby girl 2 days ago and I’m still in the hospital because I had an emergency c section. I’m exhausted. In the past 6 days I haven’t slept. Maybe a total of 13 hours since my labor was so long. I’m tired… my baby won’t take to a swaddle or lay in her bassinet. My milk has dried up because I am experiencing severe postpartum swelling and I can’t move without pain. I look like the stay puffed marshmallow man. I had to get a catheter put in twice and now my bladder is swollen and it’s very difficult to pee. Sometimes I can’t pee at all. My whole labor and delivery experience was very traumatic and I’m the only person that seems to think it was traumatic. It has made it difficult to bond with my daughter and I hate that… I hate that my milk is dried up so I can’t breast feed. Fed is best but I really wanted to be able to breast feed. I feel like I am holding resentment against my daughter since I am in all this pain and have difficulty doing anything because I had to deliver her early. I’m ashamed of that but I also can’t really help it right now… I can’t stop crying about everything and god I’m just so tired right now… I’m tired.