Should we have a baby shower?


So this is my second baby, I'm due in March. I want a party. We had a virtual shower with the first last year, which I hated.

I was told that most people don't have baby showers for subsequent kids unless it's a menopause baby. We don't actually need anything, we had a very small registry for the first and didn't bother with it this time around. We really just wanted contributions to the education fund in lieu of physical gifts, but I was complained at so I made a silly list of things that would possibly make life easier (thankfully we still use most of it and can use it for the next as well).

It just feels like the first kid gets all the pomp and circumstance and the other kids are afterthoughts. I'm getting STRONG pushback from my immediate family (not my spouse, they don't care what I decide as long as I'm happy with it) just for even mentioning the desire to have a shower this time. The argument is that the shower is "for the parents" but I really see it as for the baby. We don't get stuff that we want, we get stuff for the kid, with the exception of the occasional postpartum basket and box of beer.

Have you had multiple baby showers? How did you handle it? Is it worth it or will people just think we're just looking for handouts, which we aren't? Should we do a sip and see instead? I just don't want the baby to get sick with a ton of people holding them and breathing in their face.

All constructive thoughts and opinions on the subject would be appreciated!