Its almost a year since I seperated from my husband. I am in an amazing relationship with one of my oldest friends, we are compatible in so many ways and I feel loved, sexy and happy.

Long story/vent/rant

I was with my ex for 8 years, married for 1,5 years. We had a small house together and a dog, and seemed pretty stable. (Got together at 18, left at 27) I left in january 2021. Things started feeling off for me about summer 2020. I started getting attracted to other people but didnt do anything about it except keep distance.

Over the next 6 months I tried working with myself and seeing him in a different way again. He was still handsome, loving and fun, but things were standing still... he spent all his time sleeping-work-gym-pc, never did anything in the house anymore (I was sick and didnt have a job atm so couldnt take care of everything but tried to do my part) and got angry when I asked.

After a major mental breakdown about 3 years prior I had a lot of issues with social settings (also fibromyalgia), but also I had troubles getting turned on. It was dead, like dry and I felt anxious and stressed and could not get in the mood. So he always got pushy, like kept going on even when I said no, worst case he started guilt tripping me into doing it.

I only had one previous relationship that was abusive, so probably some issues from that that resurfaced.

Eventually I started realizing that maybe we had gotten as far as we could as a couple. That he needed something else, someone else. But he loved me above all. Picturing how my life would change if I did this, and how I would hurt him, I became suicidal and almost ended myself.

My best friend (now bf) recently ended his relationship at the time (it was so bad) so we spent a lot of time together, talking about these things and just distracting each other and such. I started getting feelings but didnt do anything.

Suddenly my husband asks why I have been so cold, and we have the talk. I never wanted to hurt him, but its hard to deal with preparing to ruin your lives and crush someones heart...

A few months later my friend said he had started having feelings for me so we get together.

Then my ex finds out and accuse me of cheating, and tells everyone that I cheated to get even more sympathy points, so people stop being my friend and talk shit about me.

I only took the money I put in the house (not half like I had a claim to) and gave him all of the furniture and kitchen stuff so he didnt have to worry about spending money (he has money and a job, I have neither) because I cared. I moved into my besties house with my dog.

He now has a new girlfriend, all our friends, the house, a new car, a new actual wardrobe, does things in the house and is super social.

He is living his best life as a proper grownup, not the lazy slob I loved once.

I am happy for him, but also so hurt that he never bothered to put in all this effort when we were together, like just complaining and avoiding. But he was also soo sweet and loving, even though he sounds like the worst...

If anyone bothered reading; sorry and thank you!

The question is still; how do you get over someone you loved for a long time? Even when you are happy with someone else, but the ex is being a dick and living like a damn celebrity?