I’ve been dating this guy since May but officially since September. I’m very on edge because my most recent two ex boyfriends both were textbook narcissist. I’m just going to give you guys a summary of some of the things he says. Some of it is really weird…

A few weeks ago he has started mentioning to me that i need to work out. I’ve told him numerous times that it bothers me he’d say that. I am very petite… he isn’t even fit. He has a dad bod. I told him it hurts my feelings and asked him to stop but he makes comments every time i see him. He will say things like “you need to start working out” “let’s go work out” or “maybe you wouldn’t be so tired if you work out” (i have been diagnosed with narcolepsy.) He has told me that he says it because couples should want to push each other to be better. Over and over again I’ve told him that it bothers me and he CONTINUES to do it then calls me sensitive.

Last night we were sitting in the hot tub at a cabin and he asked me what I’d do if a bear and coyotes came up to us. I told him I’d run inside. He called me a wimp and said he’d try to fight off the animals. He said i need to start becoming more brave and not run away from my problems. That i need to toughen up. He’s made many comments before like this to me. It’s weird… we were watching Hunger Games and he asked me if I’d want to be in the games. I told him no. He proceeded to tell me how he’d want to be in the games and he knows he’d win. Once again, told me I’m a “Weanie”. Makes me feel like I’m weak .. but most people wouldn’t want to fight off a coyote, bear or other people in the Hunger Games.

I’ve told him before that my exes used to tell me i talked too much. He knows it made me shut down with them. This weekend i was going on and on about something (maybe for 5 mins?). He closed his eyes and said to me “keep talking. You’re going to put me to sleep”. I told him that it was rude of him to say that. He laughed and said he was just trying to say that my voice is sooo relaxing. I told him, “no… you’re masking an insult with a compliment. I’m not buying it”. I told him to give me a second to calm down bc i was really triggered. Instead of giving me a few mins like i asked, he started to tell me a story… the story started with, “there once was a sensitive girl” the rest of it in summary: “got mad at the boy because she thought he was being a jerk but it was all a misunderstanding”. I got very upset at this point because he called me sensitive. He invalidated my feelings. He always calls me sensitive after he hurts my feelings. Yk what he said after i told him that? He said “the story wasn’t even about you. When did i say the story was about you?” I dropped it. Today he asked me why i got upset this weekend and i tried to explain it to him in further detail. He still continued to say that the “sensitive girl” story wasn’t about me. It was right after i told him he upset me… coincidence? No. I told him that he could be honest with me and just tell me straight up he made the story about me.. he was making me feel nuts for assuming the story was about me when it clearly was. I wasn’t mad about the story. I was mad about once again having my feelings invalidated. Then when i mentioned it to him not one, BUT TWO DAYS he continued to say the story wasn’t about me.. then said “ok, it’s related to you but it wasn’t ABOUT you” SAME THING.