Hey guys, just needed somewhere to vent my feelings. Here i am, pregnant for my third time this year. Crazy right? Unfortunately two of my others ended so soon after being confirmed. It's hard to be excited this time around.

Losing a pregnancy and getting pregnant again follows up with:

-Constantly checking every time you wipe for blood

-Taking constant test believing that the line is fading again

-Mourning a loss that hasn't even happened because you don't believe your body can succeed this time

-Your spouse telling you that it's okay this time but that fear creeps up into a panic attack every time

It's hard to be excited when you think it'll end again. It's hard to be excited when you don't want to feel the numbness again. It's just hard to be excited.