Tips on ways to be or get better at being affectionate for my husband?

Question

He brought to my attention that I don’t give/show enough affection. Truth is he is probably right we have a 18 months old I work full time and by the end of the night I’m truly just so darn tired. I’m tired when I wake up and when I go to sleep. I also could care less if we have sex more than once or twice a week. If he had it his way we would have sex everyday. I have really low libido (I enjoy our sex it’s wonderful but as I said I’m truly always tired and I don’t feel sex is super important. But he feels differently. He also feels as though I’m pushing him away and don’t want to be touched… I believe he thinks I don’t love him and the truth is I absolutely do. I would do anything for him. I think we just value different things for him it’s touching flirting for me it’s being present, talking, enjoying each others company.
I just want to improve because I love my husband he’s a wonderful man, husband, friend, and father. I never want him to truly feel like he is unloved. He’s my soulmate and best friend. I know this is really upsetting him if he brought it up because he never ever complains. Please just send some tips my way. 
Thank you for any help.

Answer

Id highly suggest reading and discussing the book the 5 love languages by Gary chapman. It is incredible how much better and loving your relationship feels when you are being loved in your own love language, and vice versa for your partner. Sounds like his is physical touch and yours is quality time (but there's a quiz that will tell you guys for sure). 
I totally understand how you feel though. My husband's is physical touch as well. Right now im 34weeks pregnant and I work in healthcare so by the end of the day im exhausted and a little touched out. I try to make it a priority to spend at least 5 minutes just touching him before he leaves for work (night shift). Whether that is a foot massage, holding hands, or just resting my hand on his leg. It doesn't have to be big gestures!! Its always a good idea to communicate how you're feeling, but at the end of the day he needs the physical portion of your relationship to feel valued, loved and fulfilled. Good luck 🌟

Answer

What about getting a babysitter, or family for a couple hours or even overnight, neighbor whatever your set up is around you. Pampering yourself, giving yourself a break, painting your nails, taking a bubble bath, daily affirmations, when you feel better about yourself, you’re able to give to others. Remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. You need to take care of yourself as well. Start with compliments, complement each other, five compliments a day and it doesn’t have to just be physical, it can be some thing about their personality, Things that you appreciate about them, things that you notice about them, it can be physical as well. When it comes to men, they are very physical, touch, oriented, they are visually stimulated, so when we are all dolled up, or wearing something sexy, or we gently graze them with our fingertips￼. Or massage them or doing things that you used to do in the beginning, taking bubble bath together a shower together, massaging each other, adding excitement back into your lives, having date night, being each others escape from reality rather than what you want to escape from, taking a trip, doing things together, fulfilling each other‘s fantasies, you also have to remember that sex psychological. If you are too busy thinking about all the things you didn’t have time to do, where the house is a mess or whatever else stress anxiety depression. How on earth Can you be enjoying sex yet alone have a sex drive, or feel sexy in general. If you’re not masturbating if you’re not having sex if you’re not thinking about sex, sex begins outside the bedroom, telling each other when you’re not together all the things you can’t wait to do it to your partner when they get home. Unfortunately when you have children, a lot of times the relationship takes to the back burner because you’re so focused on the child. But you also need to make time for yourself, you need to make time for your partner. Have date nights, romantic dinners, a picnic in the living room with Christmas lights are in the backyard, do things together that you used to do before the baby was there, reignite the fire that used to be there. Appreciating each other, respecting each other, I think especially when you’re a stay at home mom that appreciation goes out the window because it’s just expected of you to do things, but doing little things for each other that you appreciate, I saw this and it made me think of you, I saw this at the store and I knew you would like it, so I picked it up, I made your favorite meal, I’m going above and beyond for your partner both reciprocated and given, still being excited to see your partner the minute they walk through the door, making each other still a priority, I hope things get better￼

Answer

I think this is more common an issue than we all think. Especially once children come along. I’m exhausted all the time, but on the flip side, my husband could work 24 hours + and still be ready to .. y’know .. I love it but I hate it at the same time 😖 I blame it on fluctuating hormones

Tips on ways to be or get better at being affectionate for my husband?

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