Help me

So. I’m going through a really rough time right now. My mom just passed away a month ago due to drug addiction and a heart infection. My bf and I are going through a tough patch aswell as my grandmother (who I’m convinced despises me) found out I’ve been hiding the fact I have anorexia from her for years. A couple of minutes ago I finally cut myself with a blade. I originally just bite my cheeks and lips until I bleed or I dig whatever nails I have into my palm or arm. I kinda freaked myself out with the fact I actually took a blade to myself. But the pain was something different. I cut my leg a few times then threw the blade. Someone please help.