Bear with me this is a little long. So this is about me and my SIL (husbands brothers wife). When I found out I was pregnant with baby #2 (Due early July 2021), i immediately sent a picture of my PP test in my in-laws group chat. I was very happy, and wanted to share the happiness with them. Everyone was happy for me, and congratulated me. Fast forward a few months, my SIL flew in and surprised everyone with a pregnancy announcement with her first child. Everyone was incredibly happy for her. Towards the end of May, we received the bad news that she has miscarried 4 months into her term, and had to birth the baby. I immediately reached out and sent her condolences, flowers, and a shoulder to cry on. She replied back 2 weeks later with a copy and pasted message she sent to everyone. It is understandable because she just went through grief.

July came around and when I checked into the hospital to give birth, she sent me a text wishing me a smooth labor, recovery, and healthy baby. I replied back and thanked her. My husband sent a picture of the baby when he was born in our group chat with congratulations from everyone except her. This is where I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not. Was a text for a smooth delivery a way of congratulating me? I was hurt that she didn’t or send me a message.

Fast forward to last week, my husbands sister casually brings up that our SIL was pregnant again thinking I knew. I had no idea, and was definitely hurt. She told me she told her she was 4 months along, and sent her an ultrasound picture asking her if she heard the big news. I asked my husband if he knew, and he said yes, but they asked him not to tell anyone. At this point, I’m realizing everyone knows (my entire in laws), and that “anyone” is specially targeting me. I understand she went through trauma and grief, but she has clearly told everyone except me. I am very hurt. My husband got mad at me for not texting her congratulations, but why would I? She clearly didn’t want me to know.

I just want to hear other thoughts and opinions, because sometimes I can be in my head about things. I am very hurt, but not sure i have the right to be.

EDIT! Thank you all for putting the time and explaining to me a new perspective on this situation. Although I would like to say that sometimes there are nicer ways to get your point across. I have realized that we are both not bad people, and it is the circumstances and timing of events that I have not put into account. Feelings are high on both sides, and it is a little hard to see someone getting someone that they wish they had. A trigger like someone said, and I should be more empathetic of her feelings. I’m still not sure if I should reach out to her just in case it is still a worrying time for her. Maybe next month so she feels a little more secure. I will be sending her flowers and a card. Thanks again to everyone!