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Why have a second baby with him? Seems like this isn’t new behavior.
(Long post warning) Pregnant SAHM in Need of a Break
I'm 25 weeks pregnant and raising a 20 month old son . I feel like I never have a moment to myself and have mentioned more than once to my husband that I need him to take our son out of the house sometimes. It's happened maybe once since he's born. Currently we aren't speaking to each other after getting into an argument about each of us getting a break. He fell asleep on the couch while I watched our son, when he woke up I asked my husband to take him so I could get a moment before starting dinner. He started saying I only wanted a break because he went to sleep and I'm doing things out of spite. He works so hard and doesn't get enough rest so that's why he's tired. Which I understand, but why does that mean I don't get a break too? After fussing for a few moments in front of our son, I said I'm done took our son and went upstairs. I told my husband to enjoy his break. I eventually came back to make dinner, but my husband didn't even looked or speak to me. Even after I made his plate for dinner, I ate in the kitchen while he fed our son. I'm kind of at a loss for how to resolve this. I really don't even want to talk to him right now, and he really hurt my feelings by pretty much discounting my need of time to myself. I guess I'm venting more than anything. I'm worried what it's going to be like when the new baby comes now.
Sincerely,
Tired Mommy
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Counseling is always a great option as long as both people are willing!! Sometimes we can’t effectively communicate in the moment and therapists can be great mediators in these situations with advice on how to help each other feel heard and seen. With that said, this sounds painfully like my son’s father that I ended up breaking up with after dealing with this type of behavior, and then some, for way too long. 😬 We tried therapy and there was no willingness on his part to change his behavior and act as a partner. I’m now married to an AMAZING man that not only listens when I say I need a break, but will jump in without being asked to take care of my son, his step-son, and encourage me to go take some time to myself when I seem off.I’m still getting used to it, but I’m learning that the unwillingness to give you a break isn’t normal and you deserve time for yourself without having to fight for it. 💕
I’m a SAHM and also 25 weeks pregnant. My husband and I have this same conversation very often. My only advice is to sit down after baby goes to bed and actually listen to each other’s argument and try to resolve the issue to where you both get a break. This is the only thing that has helped us. We have a 8yr old and 3yr old and my husband works Monday through Saturday. He doesn’t get home til 5:30-6 everyday so I completely understand how you feel. I often think how I’m going to be able to do it with a newborn. But we got this! Everything will work out just stay positive and see if this is something you both can work on.
D
Yeah maybe just wait a couple days then. Good luck with everything. Hopefully he sees both sides.
Ch
Thank you! I just tried to speak with him but he's still too angry at me walking away to actually have a productive conversation. Part of me, is fine with that and the other part wishes he'd get over himself.
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