What conversations do you recccomend having before having kids?

Question

My husband and I are considering having kids. We have been having discussions on what we are for and against. We had a conversation about Christmas, he believes Christmas is a pagan holiday and has rituals and traditions that don’t honor Christ…I disagree. 
One thing we had a conversation on whether or not a child should sleep with us, we both agreed that babies/ children should not co sleep, (as a cop I witnessed  a bad situation happen and I decided never to co sleep  especially with a baby)
What conversations have you had or think is good?

Answer

I wish we had talked more about what we would if we dealt with infertility- ie. What fertility measures we would want to do, if we were open to adoption, etc. We just assumed everything would work perfectly and we were thrown when it didn't.

Answer

Some things are concrete, your beliefs vs his and how you compromise that. You also need to talk about how planning is good when it’s all theoretical but when baby is actually here plans change. I said the same thing about not sleeping with baby because of what can happen but one of mine wouldn’t sleep unless he was next to me, so I got a travel cot that sat in the middle of my bed and he slept swaddled in that until he could roll over, then he slept in the travel playpen next to my bed till about 8 months old. That wasn’t the plan but that’s how it ended up.

Answer

Conversations around child rearing, discipline, and expectations around household duties and child rearing. Will you both continue to work? Does one parent want to be a stay at home parent? If yes or no what are the expectations for both? Thoughts about daycare vs nanny’s or au paire’s. How many kids do you want?

Answer

Distribution of responsibilities with regards to children. Financial impact.

Answer

Parenting styles, technology/screen time, sleepovers at what age if at all, daycare vs stay at home, public vs private schools, circumcision, boundaries with extended family, and just reading/studying up on childcare and parenting in general. Those are all some of the first things my husband and I discussed before TTC and we both read 5 or 6 books and took notes before getting pregnant so we can just enjoy pregnancy without having to scramble to prepare.

What conversations do you recccomend having before having kids?

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