Baby is up constantly and I got so mad at him…

The last few days my 4 week old baby has been up..a lot. Which is fine but he’s only happy if I’m holding him in a way that hurts my arms. On top of having covid and a 4 year old I’m on SENSORY OVERLOAD. Normally he sleeps pretty good and I was excited to go to bed. Tonight he had other plans. He stayed up for 5 1/2 hours and he wouldn’t even let me put him down. The first few hours were okay but eventually I was getting so mad at him. I yelled at him then I cried and had a panic attack because nothing was working. I feel like he hates me. How could I be so mad at something so innocent. I don’t know how I’m ever going to get through this if I can’t handle one bad night. I feel like a terrible mom. He would be better off without me.