Terrifying night

TW: Heavy bleeding. 11wks 4days.

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3am. I roll over & know I have to pee. I sit up & feel a gush... something didn't feel right. As soon as I sat on the toilet a fountain of gushes flow out & I just know it's blood. I wipe & look down & it's everywhere. I call for my husband as I'm literally trembling. I've been here before, but never this far along.

We call the on call doctor but I don't get a call back. At this point I am filling a pad & cramping through my back. So I call my mom to stay with my sleeping boys & we had to the ER.

Time felt so slow. I got back quickly. But an hour goes by & I get an IV & blood drawn then pain meds to ease the cramps.

More hours pass. I think two? I'm just blank at this point believing the worst. US comes down & I know this is it.

To my insane surprise. That baby is there. Even though they can't tell me anything, I know what I see.

Funny thing about my chart.. I get my results before the doctor even comes in.

So here I am. Home. Trying to rest. Still bleeding & cramping. Passing some decent clots. But my baby is okay, even if just for now. Trying not to stress out & just be thankful everything I thought wasn't real. But this is scary.

*thanks for listening. I feel like I needed to get it all out to process.