We are due with our 2nd child around April 20th. We currently have a son who will be 3 in March. Our son is autistic, and while well-behaved, I definitely don't trust just anybody with him because he can't voice his needs.

We move every few years, so I don't have close friends here who are in a position to help out when I go into labor.

My Mom doesn't need to work, but does pick up the odd nanny/babysitting job because she enjoys being busy. Which I do love for her, she loves babies.

I recently asked her if she thought she may have the flexibility to come out and help. Tbh, this was me extending an olive branch in hopes of me being able to forgive her for some pain she causes me this past year. I am struggling to forgive her after she told EVERYONE about my miscarriage (when I asked her not to) repeatedly spilling other things I've told her not to, and then constantly denying my son's diagnosis even though it's glaringly obvious to the common person, let alone the professional team of Dr's who diagnosed him.

Now my mother, though a very loving and giving person, can have weird things with control. If she has an opinion and you choose to disagree... she gets very passive aggressive and borderline bullies you.

My last pregnancy I needed a cesarean. I labored a long time and my son was large (we later realized was likely due to undiagnosed gestational diabetes). My Dr's all agree I'm a great candidate for a vbac and all the research still shows its statistically safer to have a vbac than a repeat cesarean. Every time I try to talk about this new baby my Mom harasses me to get a cesarean and decides that I must be stressed because I can't plan my birth. When I asked her for help in April she straight up said she wouldn't unless I had a cesarean, so we could plan it. I explained to her that regardless we can't plan it because my Dr's will not take my daughter out before 39 weeks and I could always go into labor early. Mom said no i wouldnt go into labor early, that they will take her out two weeks before so theres zero chance. I explained to her multiple times my drs will not (unless its an emergency etc.) She then went onto say that she chose to have a repeat cesarean and my cousins wife chose to have a repeat cesarean so their children wouldn't have seizures (that's not even a thing- but just showing how she is passive agressive). I said well I'm still planning a vbac and she went on a tangent of how stressful that is- its not for me its lets stressful. My cesarean was traumatizing for me, I took 6 months to feel somewhat pain free after. My drs didnt listen when I initially expressed that I thought my son was stuck (he was)... My mother knows all this and how difficult it was. How I hated the healing time after the cesarean and the painkillers etc.

I'm just done. Guess it's time to hire a doula and have my hubby stay home with our son. 🙄