So I'll never be 100% Sure if it was truly him or not but years ago when I was 15 i met these guys with my friends we were coming home from the Library. And they stopped us. Two of three of us exchanged numbers. I visited my friends then when it was getting kind of late I was ready to go home but my friend's brother hadn't made it home to take me home. I didn't want my mother to worry so I called the new guy which I didn't realize that it was a horrible idea, and he came to bring me "home". My friends begged me not to go saying that he gives them bad vibes but I just figured that they were overreacting. The guy was mad when I declined going with him and because of how angry he was about driving so far to come get me just to be cancelled after getting there, I felt guilty and left with him anyway. Instead of driving me to my home, he passed my area by and took me to another part of my city. I didn't want to act scared after telling him I didn't want to go with him there and he still was driving home so I just pretended to be alright. We get there and he leads me to his bedroom.( Once again I am 15. This guy was about 26 saying that he was 24. But it could all be lies .) He tells me that he was going to do something just chill in his room that's when I started thinking that yeah he's probably going to pressure me into having sex. (I was also on my period) he comes into the room tells me to scoot over near him and I fall onto the floor. I try to stay on the floor but he picks me up and throws me into the bed. It scared the hell outta me. He turns off the TV now it's completely dark in his bedroom. He gets on top of and starts kissing me. I tell him no I don't want to do this I want to go home. He gets aggressive. I yell. He says if you yell again I'll shoot with the gun that I have in my closet. I begged for my life. He gets back on top of me and I try to fight him off. He says "tell me that I'm magnificent". I started crying. He yanks out my tampon and rape me. I cried so much that he became disturbed and stopped. He got up told me to go into the bathroom I tried to run out the door. He snatched me by my hair threatening me again so I listened. He wiped me down then put me back into the car saying don't tell anyone. After I got out I ran to my aunt's house told her she told my uncle. As I sat in my cousin's room I saw the same guy or what looks like the exact same guy with the same face, glasses, voice, weight, and skin color. I had an anxiety attack. I've always been angry about not pressing charges due to the fact that the cops will make me look like the bad guy. But I've never completely healed from it. I see him on the internet making songs he's made this one song and the area that he mentioned in the song is where he dropped me off after he raped me. How can I ever properly heal from this? Oh also, from some friends years later (male friends) I found out he raped another person. I feel incomplete. Please help me.😔😔😔😔😔😔