MIL hates my guts?

Question

Let me start off with I’ve had a bumpy marriage, we got married on February 18th 2021. And dated for a little while before getting married, ive been around his mom enough to know she wants nothing to do with me….I wasn’t invited to thanksgiving, I didn’t go to Christmas, she’s always talking about how “ god will put the right woman in his life.” And it hurts. She sent him pictures of other single women she works with while we were in bed last night. 
The last time she did this we were dating and it was his birthday, I had to put on a fake face and pretend I wasn’t going to cry at his birthday dinner. 
I’m in law enforcement and she doesn’t like it at all, she thinks I need to do something more feminine and that my job isn’t very lady like. 
She doesn’t even try to speak with me at all, she just speaks through her son sometimes when she feels like it…
I feel like this is making me want a divorce, and it seems silly but I never have support and don’t get me wrong, I love my husband but he’s very very very close to his mom and I don’t see things getting better. My job is already stressful enough and it’s hard coming home to more drama.

EDIT: he stood up for me according to him but I’ve never seen or heard him do it. I love him deeply But I just don’t feel happy. 
I feel like this is affecting me so badly because I always wanted to be super close to my MIL due to not being close to my mom and my inner child was showing and I don’t think she cared…but it’s fine.

Answer

If your husband is closer to his mother than to you there’s a big problem. My husband would NEVER EVER let his mom do or say anything like that. If he put his foot down that would never happen again, so you need to talk to him. 
Other than that, the question is do you even like her lol. If your husband will stand up for you than who cares what she thinks of you. If he won’t then your problem is actually with your husband.

Answer

Why does your husband let her do it?

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He’s not standing up for you if he’s still continuing to allow things like this to happen. When she acted that way at bday dinner, he should’ve set boundaries right then and there. You will respect my wife or we will leave. It sucks that she treats you that way, but you’re better off not getting close to someone like that.

Answer

You need to be honest with him about what you are feeling. If you are second guessing your marriage then he ought to know because maybe that'll be enough of a wake up call to get his ass in gear. 
He may say he sticks up for you but that sounds like a lie to keep you happy or he knows he is a weak defender and doesn't want you to see because you'll say so. Either way, you need to talk to him about this. He needs to be a better husband, you're his family now.

Answer

I’m not sure what the situation is with the father or the husband, if he is in the picture or not, or just emotionally not present, or physically not present, so she basically turned her son into her husband, emotionally, physically, financially, to fill the void that her husband was leaving or the father whatever the situation is, so to her you are the homewrecker trying to take her husband away which is why she probably doesn’t like you. No matter what you do it’s never good enough, you can’t do anything right, or she could be a narcissist. No matter what you do it’s never going to change. Like you said, he’s a mama‘s boy, and that never ends well unless he grows a pair and stands up to her. If you say anything it just makes you look even worse of a person, makes her hate you even more, he needs to man up and say look mom this is my wife, get over it, stop disrespecting her and stop treating her like shit, we won’t be coming around here. Until he can get to that place, the relationship isn’t gonna work. And you’re always going to be the underdog who gets treated like shit. That is his mother, and he needs to set the boundary. Otherwise you’re just the bad guy who’s trying to take away her son and make him think otherwise or. Whatever other crap. I’m sure she plays the victim, I’m sure she is never wrong or at fault, etc. And if things don’t change, the relationship may not work between the two of you. I hope things get better, I truly do. And I wish you luck

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HELL NO!!!! Your husband needs to put her in her place and if he cannot then you need the excuse yourself from this toxic family.

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is your husband even defending you? it not, i’ll definitely be looking into getting a divorce.

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Aw man i wish you saw that before marriage. I love my inlaws. I couldn’t imagine my my mil hating me. I would be very stressed too. And if i saw it early on it could possibly be a deal breaker for me. I believe when you marry someone you also marry their family.

Answer

I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t cut her off. I get that he’s close to her but you’re his wife and if she won’t be happy about your marriage and just keeps causing problems he should cut her off.