I'm mostly just looking for some online therapy or kind words.

My second baby is a little boy who is almost 3 months. We also have a girl who is almost 2 years old.

My husband and I agreed that when we were done having kids that he would get a vasectomy. Now that the baby is here we have been revisiting this conversation.

My heart just hurts. I'm so torn. I don't know if I can mentally handle a third baby, but at the same time there is just something in my that is second guessing getting the procedure done for my husband. He doesn't want anymore kids. If we did have a third it would be a little more financially strenuous as we would have to get a bigger house and car. He thinks because we have a boy and a girl that its perfect and our family is complete. Some days I feel like that too, but other days I just want to mourn the fact that I will never experience pregnancy again. Breastfeeding again. Labor again. I've had two pleasant experiences. My first born daughter was an induced hospital, epidural birth. My second baby was an all natural unmedicated water birth. It was the most empowering experience of my life and I will never get to feel that again.

Just wanted to see if anybody is going through the same thing, or has any comforting words for this type of thing. I just find myself soaking up absolutely everything with my little boy, but it just makes me want to cry knowing that this is the last time I will ever feel this way.