Is 4 months dating too early to ask if a guy wants kids?

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Accepted Answer

Asking in general, no. Asking if he wants any with you, yes.

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I used to talk about it on the first couple of dates because there was no point in wasting months with someone who didn’t want what I want!

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I mean I work out those basic life goal on the second date, I don’t want to waste time with men who don’t share my eventual goals

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It’s wise to ask questions if your life goals align. Otherwise just wasting each other’s time. 
I’d just word it as “do you see yourself having kids someday?”

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Honestly I think it's good to talk about it. If that's something you want in the future and he doesn't, it's better to know now than potentially find out years into the relationship.

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Asking in general what they are looking for, are they looking to get married in the future or have children in the future, that’s not an issue, but saying do you want to have them now, or try and sabotage things or poke holes in the condom that kind of thing yeah big red flag, but in general, I know I would want to know in the beginning exactly what they are looking for to see if they align and if they don’t align then you’re wasting your time. If kids are something that you want, then absolutely I would want to know. I’ve been with my partner a year and seven months, and the first thing we talked about was that kids were off-limits, he’s got kids in their 20s,, He’s 59 years old and the last thing he would want to do is start all over again, so that’s totally understandable, I said I don’t want kids. I said I don’t mind somebody who comes with them, I am not doing anyone who has a little ones, older kids perfect,  out of the house. I would definitely want to know from the beginning what they’re looking for. If he’s just looking for friends with benefits or hooking up, and you’re looking for a long-term relationship that leads to marriage, obviously you need to know what they are looking for. If they would like kids or a house or have goals that they would like to meet before they get married, you should also know that as well. Because sometimes men don’t want to commit until all of their ducks are in a row. And some women hold out for 10 years waiting, and never happens. You absolutely should know what their goals are, if they are mamas boy, if you’re going to be fighting with his mom, trying to compete for his attention, or him siding with his family over you. His mental health, absolutely. I would wanna know what I’m dealing with to see if there’s something I can deal with, or if this is something that is way too much. It takes a good year to get to know somebody and even then they can surprise you. usually buy 3 to 6 months, that’s a good enough window to see where the relationship is going. Good luck

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I don’t think so 😊 if he’s a mature guy, he’ll handle the question well instead of ‘backing off’ because he felt ‘pressured’

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No because what if he doesn’t want any, and you do , or vice versa. You both should be on the same page with that.

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I think asking a lot about what someone is looking for in life early on just makes sense. 
I always forget to tell people I don't want kids for like a month or longer. Because I don't ever want them, I don't ever think about them. Once I was already in a relationship and it almost ended when the guy actually kinda wanted kids someday and had to think about it. 
It's best to ask this long term stuff before things are more serious or official.

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I feel like that’s something you should know from the start because why waste any time on someone who doesn’t want the same as you!♥️

Is 4 months dating too early to ask if a guy wants kids?

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