i was given the option to find out the gender of my baby this week (10weeks) but i'm not sure if i want to. it's makes me feel horrible because my last pregnancy i was so excited to find out but i wasn't given the option for a blood draw so i waited until 15w and did a private ultrasound for gender. i ended up giving birth prematurely and losing my son at 21 weeks and i think that's why i'm hesitant on finding out so soon. it makes me feel like a bad mom because my excitement is there but not as big as it was last time because i'm scared to get attached to this baby and feel that hurt again. my loss has taken a lot of joy out of this pregnancy, i don't want to have a gender reveal this time and i'm not announcing until at least 24 weeks. i'm thinking about just waiting for my specialist appointment at 14 weeks and see if they can see the gender there or just doing a private scan again at 15 weeks, but i also don't know if maybe finding out the gender earlier would help me be more excited?