is it controlling?

Question

how do y’all feel about your SO going out? 
my partner and i go out to local bars without each other, with our friends. no big deal. but he’s talking about going to a club in atlanta tomorrow night. i do trust him. i’m not ever going to tell him he can’t do something. personally, i’m more of an insecure woman. always have been since i was a little girl. i want him to go and have fun. but i’m also just so insecure about him going. i don’t want him to go being completely honest. 
do y’all go out even when you’re in a relationship? do y’all go out to clubs? is a club too far? 
idk :(

Answer

I think it’s ok to have boundaries about what you aren’t comfortable with. I’m the same with my relationship where I don’t mind if he goes out with his friends to bars or other things but I told him I’m not cool with clubbing. Controlling would be you not letting him go out at all.

Answer

There is absolutely nothing wrong with going out with friends when in a relationship. However, feeling insecure is not controlling. You aren’t telling your partner not to go. I think telling him not to go would be controlling. It also sounds like you would benefit from therapy.

Answer

i don’t think you’re being controlling necessarily but should probably look into therapy. you can’t go putting your insecurities on other people as it will ruin your relationships and your mental health.

Answer

my boyfriend can do whatever he wants and i don’t stop him, but does that mean i like it… NO 🥲 i don’t say anything bc i don’t want to come off as crazy or whatever, but in my situation my boyfriend 100% blacks out and all of his friends are cheaters and literally bring girls back with them every time. luckily, my bf lives with me now so i don’t have to deal with THAT part but i feel you. i hate it. it’s not that i don’t trust him, i do to a point but i have trust issues in general so idk how to feel haha

Answer

I don’t see the difference between going to a club or a bar. He could be approached either way. Just bc people may dress nicer at a club doesn’t mean the chances of someone trying to talk to him would change, imo. If he’s loyal, he’s loyal, period. 
My husband goes out with friends sometimes and it wouldn’t matter to me. Unless it was a strip club. 🤣

Answer

My partner and I never go clubbing, even together lol and I’m only 22

Answer

Well I personally don’t go out to clubs anymore because I’m 33😂 but I honestly wouldn’t mind. Unless he gives you a valid reason to worry I would just try to relax. You can always try and talk to him about how your feeling and hopefully it will make you feel better.

Answer

It’s not controlling to set boundaries in your relationship. If something makes you feel a certain way, you need to communicate that. A big problem in so many relationships is the fact that people just bite their tongues & hold back how they are feeling. I love my partner, I trust him completely , but he knows clubs are off the table. We have had the conversation. And he feels the same way, we have talked about what would make the other person uncomfortable. The way you feel about something should be more important to your partner. Being controlling would be telling him straight up that he can’t go, he has to stay home. If you say “I’m uncomfortable with this” then it’s still his decision. It’s important to be able to talk freely about things like this w your partner

Answer

Is it fomo? Like you want to go have fun too?
You acknowledge your insecurities and that you can’t tell him not too. My husband is an introvert and I wish he went out more. We are a little old for clubbing but I know if he went he’s be a wall flower or stuck to a stool, he’s shy

Answer

Me and my husband both travel a lot for worok so there are times where our relationship us via FaceTime for chunks of time so we often go out solo. We trust each other so doesn't matter. We let each other know general area and plans just incase something happens but otherwise ya we do it often. Gender or whatever doesn't matter, our big thing is we agreed when we first met under no circumstance will there ever be dri king and driving if any sort so that is the hard rule. Be safe, general idea of plans, and no drinks if there will be driving. Otherwise go nuts lol.

is it controlling?

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