The thoughts about him….

I left a bad relationship; but, I can’t not think about him. I worry he’s going to hurt me, pop up to prove a point. I worry he’s happy without me. I worry he’s not doing well. I worry about the dog I left behind. I worry, worry, worry. I’ve done some therapy, but I can’t shake thinking about him. Sometimes I feel bad for leaving him. I still have love for him, but know we can’t be together. I worry he doesn’t care or think about me, yet worry if he does, he might pop up. It makes no sense; yet I worry. I know he’s kind of moved on-talking to someone else, a lot. But, I also don’t know if that means I’m “safe.” He used to say, “if you ever fuck me over, it will be all bad.” He was mean when I first left, then got apologetic and nice, and then we basically stopped communicating all together. It’s been close to 5 months…and, so far he hasn’t done anything crazy, but I stupidly stalked an account of his, and saw something about a flight from where he is, to my general area. I haven’t been able to shake the anxiety since. Idk how he’d know where I am, bc he doesn’t have access to anything. I randomly got an authentication message for an iMessage/iwatch the other day, and my mind jumped to him. But, he wouldn’t know my passwords; I changed them all. I have two factor authentication on, so I declined the access obviously. I panicked even still, thinking it was him and what if he saw something that made him feel a type of way. I’m just confused, hurt, alone, spiraling. I had a good few months where I felt fairly safe-like he forgot about me and moved on, and even though it kind of hurt me, I felt ok. Now, I’m back to being worried and watching my back. 😔 Will these mixed emotions ever go away? Will I ever feel safe?