TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Long story short, I was molested (he came to my room touched me before leaving for work while my mom was sleeping in the middle of the night) from around 6th-10th grade by my moms husband

I told her, She told the family,

She did believe me at first. She never sat down with me alone so i could tell her what he did to me, she bought him into the room and he was right next to me telling her i must’ve been dreaming.

and then one day i reported him to the police and I was told to lie to the police because he “pays the bills” and my

mom forced me to apologize to him.

And she kicked me out and sent me to my dads

(just a glimpse)

Im not even allowed to speak of it anymore. Everyone acts like it never happened.

But with me, now i’m 19 and i can’t afford to live alone so i still have to live with my mom (again)

every time he comes around i get scared. I dress in oversized clothes. I’m trying to change myself (tattoos, maybe a couple more piercings) so i don’t look like the little girl he used to molest.

I can’t sleep at a certain time in the night because that certain time was the time he used to always touch me.

Basically the question im asking is: is it possible to have a flashback you never had before?

I was laying down in bed and i got a flashback that ive never seen before and ever since then, ive been laying in my bed crying and crying

I can’t eat anymore

I can’t sleep anymore

I feel lost

Because this flashback was worse than the other ones