When did sex feel normal again?

Question

My first born is 9 weeks old and I had a 2nd degree tear. My husband and I resumed sex at 6 weeks and it doesn’t feel great. We’re using plenty of lubricant, but my scar from the tear is still super tight and it’s still pretty sore. I’m still asking him to be very gentle and I can only tolerate 2 positions right now. It’s probably the most frustrating part of my PP body and healing. Does anyone else have similar experiences after tearing? When does sex start to feel ‘normal’ and better again?

Answer

If your sore … you are sore. It’s your body telling you that it needs more time to properly heal.  If can only “tolerate” two positions it sounds like you are trying to be a good sport for your husband. 
Don’t get me wrong everybody likes sex, but your physical healing/ health trumps intercourse for the sake of intercourse.
If you keep participating in the act it could continue to aggravate your area and will hinder the process for an ultimately longer period of time. Every body is different and no one knows how long it will take, but it needs to take as long as it’s gonna take.
I think most men will understand  if you explain it to them( or they should ).  Not getting laid is not the end of the world.  For the next bit you all might just need to catch up on some Netflix until your body is ready.
Take care
Brian

Answer

6 months to feel normal 8 months to feel good

Answer

It took 6 months for the pain to go away. It wasn't until 9 months+ that I even felt remotely like myself. Now I'm 18 months pp, pregnant again and things are looking up... for now. 😉

Answer

Honestly it took months for me to feel comfortable again, but there are certain positions I can't do anymore even though I had her 2 years ago.

Answer

Took around 4 months for me.

Answer

Scars are still 'vascular' for sometime after they first form. Imagine a knee scope surgery. You have two poke holes, and they're pink for awhile. The physical therapist gives you exercises and also massages the knee. Eventually, the poke holes turn white. It is at this stage that they are no longer vascular, meaning the scars are old enough not to have blood flow. It is also at this stage that the scars are no longer tender. They're 'old' and not alive with blood flow anymore. It's the movement and hand massage work that breaks down the scar tissue. 
Every scar has blood flow until enough movement, exercise or massage work of some kind breaks the build up of scar tissue down. Depending on the location of the scar differs in our ability to help break the scar tissue down. 
Good steps for healing the scarring that occurs during vaginal labor is obviously to wait a bit at first to let the wound close, (such as you don't take stitches out from a knee surgery for at least 7-10 days). Depending on the size of the tear, your medical professional can let you know how long until it closes. Once it closes, pressure on the scars will help break down the scar tissue. It will hurt more at first always, no matter where the scar is. Perennial massaging is typically only done to prep for labor, but is wonderful to break down these scars post delivery. Intercourse causes friction, and likely won't apply a lot of direct pressure to the scars, but it's not going to damage the scar more. The scars being tender is based on your personal threshold. But remember that friction of any kind is helping break that scar tissue down. I have done light perennial massaging 2-3 weeks post delivery once per day, then add an extra minute every day, or do it lightly twice a day for a week until the sensitivity minimizes. After my 2nd delivery, I was able to have intercourse at 6 weeks post delivery with minimal pain, and 8 weeks with almost no pain.
It's definitely a bugger that there are a lot of nerves down there anyways, making everything more sensitive. The body is very good at healing itself. Also, by applying pressure, you're bringing your brains attention to that area and that invites the brain to heal that area (another reason massage is so effective). 
Best of luck healing!

Answer

First baby took around 3 months to feel normal again and 2nd baby took only 6 weeks.

Answer

I waited awhile too and it started feeling better for me around 3-4 months. My OB had said to get it back you need to use it, like the help with the tension. So I just took it slow myself (without him) until it started feeling better before including him lol

Answer

I had a csection and was too dry to enjoy it for at least 4 months. 😢

Answer

Thank you everyone for the advice and responses!

When did sex feel normal again?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey