No one in my life values me beyond what I can do for them
I don't understand. My whole life my parents have treated me like a problem they wish never existed. Both parents were physically and emotionally abusive towards me growing up. My mom even talks crap about me to my teenager. My mother is pretty definitely a narcissist and I was so lucky to be crowned the scapegoat. It's so bad my siblings SO notice and ask why the parents dislike me so much.
Everyone in my life talks over me or completely ignore me when I speak. When I try to confront them about the behavior my feelings are invalidated, I'm told I'm wrong, or treated like the problem is that I'm choosing to feel the way I do. My teen has told me multiple time she wishes I would just die already when she is corrected for hurtful behavior (she's talked to & occasionally loses her phone, we don't physically punish our kids.) When my husband says or does something hurtful and I bring the behavior to his attention he's only response is I am selfish for not trying to see his behaviors from his perspective.
This has been the way I've been treated my entire life. I know I deserve better, but when I stand up for myself I just get shoved back down. I'm so tired of this, I'm tired of feeling like I'm not worth anything and like me being here is a giant mistake.
I would never harm myself I'm just tired of living a life that no one else sees as having any value.
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.