Pattern and Paranoid!!!

So as I’ve stated on other posts, this is my third pregnancy. First was a missed miscarriage in February 2021 and second was a blighted ovum in October 2021.

Tomorrow, 2/21, is my first ultrasound sound, I’ll be 5w6d and I am TERRIFIED! Here are my reasons:

1. I think I have a fear of ultrasounds… out of the three that I’ve had since trying to convince, only one has been good. That was my very first one.

2. Monday 2/21/22 makes a year since we found out we lost our first one, 2/21/21…

3. Every time we have found out we lost one we’ve always had a vacation that was already planned, booked and paid for… the first time, in February 2021, I found out 2/21/21 that we lost the baby, two days later had a D&C and the two days after that was on a plane to Colorado. The second time, I had a doctors appointment on 10/8/21, found only a gestational sac, two days later we were at the beach, we’re gonna be there for a week for my little brothers wedding, I started bleeding that night and miscarried the next day. This time, my appointment is tomorrow at 7:30am, afterwards we are heading to West Virginia for vacation…

To say I am paranoid and terrified I feel is an understatement, but I don’t have better words…