White people adopting black babies

I saw a post about how white people should not adopt black babies because they’re robbing them of black culture.

Okay first of all I want to say, there are not enough people adopting any race of child for that statement to not be absolutely repulsive. If that was really something to make shameful there would be a lot more black children with no home and no family. It’s basically saying you’d rather these children be stuck in the system than be adopted by white ppl. Stop. The system is awful and every child needs a home. Idk why I have to say that.

Second of all, that’s not always true. My mom took home a newborn baby girl who was left in the nicu alone detoxing off of drugs and her mother signed her rights over and abandoned her. Just left her there premature and fighting for her life. My mom said “this is my baby now.”

Her soft curls fell out and very tight 4c type hair came in and it needed a lot of moisture and care and my mom literally didn’t know what to do so she asked case workers for advice but they were white too so my sisters hair was still wild for a bit. They were also telling her to perm her toddlers head and my mom was like fuck no I am not putting f*cking chemicals on her head and hair that’s awful. This is before we had an internet and computer to just look up how to care for different hair types. My mom was woke af. I don’t even know how but she knew her hair was important. She would talk to the case workers about finding my sister someone to introduce her to black culture. She was more than aware that she was raising a black child in a White Household, and that there was a whole culture my sister needed so that she did not feel out of place as a POC. She would say stuff like I want her to be able to relate to other black children. her biological family ended up contacting my mom after the adoption was finalized. They asked to be apart of her life and she said of course. The first time they came over my mom asked “can you teach me how to do her hair.” And her uncle sat with my mom and taught her everything. Protective hair styles, how to keep it healthy and moisturized so that her hair didn’t break. She struggled with learning how to keep her hair from breaking. My sister always had perfect healthy hair after that. My mom was all about her having natural hair and letting it grow.

Later on in school she is older and has an Afro which was pretty af but these little girls in school called her hair nappy and told her she looked like a boy. My mom was like first of all I’m about to beat some racist little white kids and she went to the principal about getting that taken care of.

Then she told my sister “I think your hair is beautiful but it ain’t about me. What can we do to make you feel good about your hair, so you can feel beautiful.”

My sister showed her a picture online and my mom went and had it done. Her hair was like 12 inches when she came back and she said the girls at school STARTED COPYING HER BRAIDS and adding extensions to their hair after straight up bullying her for her natural hair. She was like “bitch are you serious.”

My mom spent probably thousands of dollars on her hair to keep it healthy, I mean like HIGH end hair care for her hair type and also upkeep of hair styles.

My sister is an adult now that rocks an Afro and will rock your shit if you disrespect her hair. She learned her culture from her bio family who my mom kept involved always. You can definitely give a black child a loving home as a white parent and still fucking acknowledge the importance of learning black culture, black history, the importance of black hair and everything. Bro my mom even went as far as…

So she only has brothers. She’s baby #13 that her mother gave birth to and THE ONLY GIRL. She didn’t have any aunts or girl cousins. So my mom found someone at church to be her baby sitter and to also be an example of a black woman to her. She just went up to this girl who was asking parents for baby sitting gigs and was like I want you to be an example for her because she doesn’t have any black women in her life and that baby sitter was like oh hell yeah and is still around in our life as a friend and mentor.

My mom seriously gave a fuck. And it should always be that way.

There is a point to this. Yes, I agree that if you are a white person adopting a black child you should definitely educate yourself first because it’s extremely important. If my mom could do it way before we had instant information and education at our fingertips, you can too. However, please keep giving any and all babies and children LOVING homes.

ETA: this is why I post because i love hearing from all of you. I know it’s not just all about the hair and that my mom as a white woman couldn’t prepare her or teach her how to carry being a black woman in a racist society. She just did her very best, and she made my sister my sister which I’m thankful for. She gave a child she did not birth a loving and protective home while at the same time acknowledging what my sister needed as an individual who is a POC