I’ve been with my boyfriend now for over a year and we’re currently pregnant with twins. Since the beginning he questioned my loyalty a lot and my intentions but now seems to trust me a lot more. I’m guessing because I’m pregnant. But I worked really hard to “prove” myself as I’ve always been an honest and transparent person. He ex (his childrens mother) cheated on him and they were together for almost ten years. When we met they supposedly were broken up for about three years but they argued still very much and some of the things she would say made me question if they were still dealing with each other before I got into the picture. But since we were still new and at the time having fun, I didn’t really think to press the issue too much. Now as time went on my trust in him began to dwindle because The times I’ve gone through his phone I’ve found nudes of all the girls he was talking to before me but still during the time we were hooking up. The thing is he stressed how he wasn’t that type of person and that he’s always taken me serious so to find out otherwise was hurtful. Yes he wasn’t sleeping with them anymore but I wasn’t the only one who had his attention. He didn’t see this as wrong because he didn’t cheat and he wasn’t lying but to me omitting the truth is lying. Plus to make me feel like I’m a questionable person when he himself wasn’t being entirely honest wasn’t fair. We’re in a better place now but sometimes I’m still hurt. I’ve been working on my triggers and my insecurities, i’m going to start counseling and seeing a psychiatrist soon because I felt that my mental health was also effecting us. Now I don’t know why I did it but the other night I went through his phone to see if the nudes were still there. Instead I found screenshot conversations he had with other women and his ex. And a picture of her driving, he’s in the passenger seat. This was a few months before we got together, so no I can’t really be upset because we did not know each other but I am upset because obviously they were still dealing with each other. And he lied about it. And with iPhone you can see all the pictures you’ve sent each other and now I’ve seen her nudes as well. I was numb. Usually I would cry and it would be a big fight but I just felt numb. I got my confirmation that I wasn’t tripping but where do I go from here? I did try to bring it up but he got upset and said i’m always looking for a reason to fight and nothing that he does is good enough for me. And that he’s sorry that he was a bad person before me. But my thing is I just want him to be put in my shoes. It’s all I can think about the last few days and I’m not sure if I even want to continue this relationship. Our fights are usually so explosive but as of lately I’ve just stopped reacting. I know I love him but i’m not sure if I’m numb or falling out of love. Do I even have the right to feel the way I do? I know going through his phone was a mistake but I needed to know. I don’t have friends or my sister to talk about this with. Please pretend I’m a friend and give me some advice.

💕: yes it was before we were together and he has deleted most of the nudes but I was hurt about the fact he lied that they weren’t dealing with each other anymore. Had I known i wouldn’t have gotten involved with him because I would feel as if I was keeping his family apart. One time one of his boys told me that his parents were together but not living together. I asked my bf about it and he said my sons young, he doesn’t understand what he’s saying. But in my gut i felt it was because they must of still been acting like a couple. And he kept telling me that she knew that they were done and was just crazy. Till this day she still doesn’t know of me or that I’m pregnant. I told him I feel like I was a rebound or a secret but he swears it because she’s toxic.