Both of our kiddos were conceived via AI with a known donor. We chose to make an arrangement that we can disclose his identity to our kids at age 18, if they would like to meet him, or learn more about their paternal side.

We are super lucky to have a good relationship with our donor, where we keep in contact via email if we ever have any questions for him or anything comes up medically.

Our oldest is now 3 1/2 and I can sense that there will soon be questions about why our family is different than others ect.

I’d like to be open and honest with her from the start, and plan on making a book to tell her story, with basic age appropriate conception info, and some donor info so that she can incorporate that into her self identity and not feel that anything is being hidden from her. I’m planning on including the donor’s polish heritage, as we are Scottish/Canadian so feel it’s important that she knows where she comes from, and plan on learning more about this for her sake. As well as incorporating some polish traditions and learning into our family’s traditions. We plan to be as transparent as possible as they both grow, and hope they feel as though they can comfortably ask questions about her donor and origin.

Anyway, long story to lead to this question.

I’m struggling on whether or not to include the donor’s photo in the book? We have one photo of him as an adult, and I can definitely see physical traits in him that both my children have. I’m just not sure if this would be confusing to them at this age, or if it’s best to make it normal now, rather that a reveal when they’re older.

Thoughts and comments either way appreciated ☺️

Here’s a pic of my kiddos, looking a whole lot like their mama as a baby!