So went to visit my mom and ended up staying 3 nights due to having hospital appointment and not wanting to keep driving back n forth to take my toddler over there.

So the first night I couldn't sleep because I didn't have my pillows and was in pain. Then my toddler woke up for 2 hours and so I ended up sleeping only 4 hours. The next day, I was putting toddler down for a nap and she came to ask for her charger. In that moment I was trying to settle him whilst exhausted myself and I didn't know where it was so I said I don't know. She told me that is not how u answer parents. She pointed out I had borrowed it and then I remembered and told her where it is. She quarrelled some more, and banged the door and left.

This morning we were both leaving the house and I went to take a shower while she was clearing the fish washer. She said am getting into the shower before her yet she is going out and I came out, told her am going out too and she said she is running late so I told her she can go in first. Before I knew it, she was telling me how I need to change my attitude. She was just saying she needs to go out so I need to hurry and it doesn't mean she stopped me from going in first. At this point am getting irritated and told her but u said am going in first... Apparently she had forgotten she said that but continued to tell me how am rude. Now am raised that U don't answer parents back no matter what and parents are always right. Am 30! And she is going about saying stuff and I can feel myself getting mad. that I should drop things and I can't believe my ears because am literally quiet and she is quarelling. I just couldn't take it and I told her all I said is she can go into the shower first. she said I don't have to prolong things and I told her she is the one prolonging things. I reminded her that yesterday she quarrelled for so long all because I forgot where the charger was. Like forgetting is normal. She said but to say I don't know to a parent is not good and disrespectful. And I in frustration told her I really forgot. Then she said there you go, again hinting on my bad attitude. I told her people forget stuff all the time. In that moment when u asked I was not mentally in the position to remember. She seemed to understand that and said then am sorry. Continued to fight me about bathing. I asked her why is she trying to pick a fight with me. Then went into the bathroom and I could hear her quarelling. Honestly some times I don't know how to behave around her. When I keep quiet it is a crime. When I say sth, am disrespectful. I was too happy to leave. Last time i kept quiet in my house she came to my house fuming about how I keep quiet and worry everyone and if someone has done sth to me, I should talk. She has a spare key so I just saw her inside and she gave me a blast. Haha. I love my mom to the moon and back but sometimes she just doesn't get it that I don't need someone to quarrel or complain about every small thing I do or don't do. And it hurts me that even when am down, her solution is to quarrel me back to toughen up. Am pretty sensitive but also strong. Partly because of her. When my father died when I was 11, we came from hurrying her and 15 minutes later after the burial people were getting food and I honestly wasn't up to eating and she found me with no food and quarrelled. Said how am waiting for her to give me food, how I need to grow up and be tough, how now I have no father and the world won't just baby me. I get it, she was frustrated and wanted me to grow thick skin but I feel like 15 minutes after I buried my father was not the place and time to tell me about being tough especially about a plate of food. In that moment I needed her to hug me and tell me we shall get through it together.

Before anyone asks why I don't tell her how I feel, she is not in the emotional state to take it. She suffers from depression and can't handle me saying a thing.

Then my distance just makes her feel worse and then I feel guilty.

Of all my 3 siblings, am the closest to her. The rest all think she doesn't love them. I have always been the one to just see her shoes and try to understand why she does certain things but sometimes she is just too overwhelming. Like right now I don't have any interest in drama over small trivial things. Am way too old, busy and stressed for that.

Am raising my child alone because my husband is away, am 25 weeks pregnant and my pelvic hurts. Am tired and still have other things on my mind. I don't need a fight over my pregnancy brains or how tired I am. Over a charger or shower.