Should I leave?

There’s so much it’s hard to think of everything to put in one post. And I’m currently watching my one year old. So sorry if I make typos😩

We started dating in 2020 and got pregnant within two months of dating. He was wonderful at first. I was so ecstatic to be with him. He treated me like a Princess. But that quickly faded but I guess I was swept off my feet already so it didn’t matter. In October I found a membership card in his car to a strip club/brothel in Tijuana. We live in so cal. Tijuana is probably a 4.5 hr drive. But from his work maybe a 1.5/2 hr drive. He talked me out of it and said it was from June when we first started dating but oddly enough it was dated to expire 9/28/2021 so in my opinion he must have gone September 28. It would make sense that it would expire in one year. The expiration date was written in sharpie. Idk. He also said he went with some clients and just sat at the bar…either way we were already dating. I still think he’s lying about the timeline of that. He’s very secretive. I know nothing about his financial situation. I never know what’s going on in his personal life. He refuses to talk to me about stuff like that. Our conversations are always surface level because I’ve learned he will get very angry at me if I try and talk to him about more important stuff. I have no clue what his 5 year plan is. We never talk about our families future.. like i know nothing. When my son was about 4 months old I found dating apps on his phone. I have an unhealthy habit of checking his phone every couple of months.(I know I shouldn’t but I always have this feeling that I should). The apps weren’t logged into. He said they were from when we first started dating but I know I had gone thru his phone before that and I would have seen them…. Idk. Maybe I missed them but it’s so weird that they were there after more than a year. He gets mad at me over little things “like my kiss not using tongue” I hate using tongue. Always have…but he says it makes him feel rejected. That’s just one example but he gets mad that I don’t want to have sex all the time. Or that I jerk away when he gropes me. I hate being groped. I have bad memories and he knows that but I don’t think he cares. All he cares is about that It hurts his ego. Two weeks ago I made dinner for everyone including his mom and dad. His dad didn’t come down. So I asked where his dad was. My husband went off on me in front of his mom telling me “to stop asking where his dad was. All it does is upsets him…” he was very cruel about it so I started crying. He then told me to grow up. That I was I was so immature and so sensitive. I told him I didn’t want to be treated like this anymore(because him getting really upset over little things is a regular occurrence this was far from the first time..he’s upset with me like this at least once a week and I usually just take it and suck it up) I told him I was leaving. He then grabbed his car keys and left the house in a fury. His mom started screaming at me to not do that to her son. He was sensitive and I needed to be gentle with him. She had my son at the time and I was scared so I called my mom to come get me. She sent me to my room. When my mom got there his mom told me I needed to be home when he got home. I tried to calm her down and said I was going to my moms to get my space and he knew where to find me. The next day he got up early and told me to take good care of our son and that he was “all mine”. I guess he went and told his mom goodbye and took off. He had his location services off. He had attempted suicide before so his whole family was calling me telling me to apologize and tell him I love him. I was scared. I didn’t want him to hurt himself. And i especially didn’t want to be the reason so I complied. But now I’m back in the same cycle. He’s constantly giving me the silent treatment and refusing to talk to me about what’s wrong. I feel like I’m going crazy. He’s usually mad because I’m not sexual enough for him. I just don’t feel like I can do it anymore but I don’t want to hurt him but also after what happened a few weeks ago I struggle to trust him with the baby. Oh also I’m 4 months pregnant… and we are married.

Also he’s been fired twice. Barely works any hours when he is employed and I still do 90-95% of the childcare. He’s also never bought anything for our kids. I do all the shopping for everyone and my mom and his family help by buying us stuff sometimes.

He spends all his time gaming while I get the adult stuff done like taking care of the baby, shopping, cleaning, washing bottles, going to work, making dr appts, calling insurance….he’s never helped with any of that. Except he will watch our son if I want to shower or when I go to work. Everyonce in a great while if I need a nap. But that’s very rare. There’s a lot more but I can’t even think to type it now. He’s being really nice this week and now it’s really confusing me.