Is having had herpes a deal breaker?

Question

I posted on the wrong section of eve. Posting it as a picture because it’s too long to type all over again. Please read and share your thoughts? I also wonder if I should start distancing from him now in case he decides not to meet me anymore so that it will be less painful when that happens, but I don’t know. TIA!

Accepted Answer

For some people, myself included it is a deal breaker. Even if you aren’t actively having an outbreak, you still have herpes and can potentially spread it to someone else. It’s more than just being a carrier. Every person has the right to make decisions for their own health, and there’s nothing wrong with him being uncomfortable with being with someone with an STD. I would in the future be up front about it early on to avoid getting hurt by someone you get close to.

Answer

A lot of people are poorly educated and misinformed. Most people don’t even know they have herpes. It can lay dormant for years or you may never have an outbreak so it’s possible you don’t know your status. It doesn’t define you and it doesn’t make you any less worthy of love.  I know some couples that have been together for decades and only one person in the relationship has it. Let people know your status. Don’t have sex during an outbreak. It’s as simple as that. The stigma is worse than the virus itself.

Answer

I’m sorry that’s happening to you. Lots of judgement going on but it sounds like a lot of people that are undereducated in the topic. Like did you know, that unless you specifically ask to be tested for herpes, it’s not part of most standard std testing? So most people in the US don’t even know they have it. Lots of these people saying “deal breaker” may want to go check their old lab work and see if they know for sure they ever got tested. Good luck to you .

Answer

For me it is a deal-breaker and testing is important especially with a new partner. I'm sorry that person didn't tell you. Isn't it illegal not to disclose that info before sex?

Answer

more people in the world have herpes than people don’t have herpes! 
hsv-1 (oral herpes) is more common for like 40-50 percent of the population 
and hsv-2 (genital) is only about 10 percent, i believe?
anyways, if you’ve ever had a cold sore… you probably have hsv-1! 
de-stigmatize herpes. more often than not, it isn’t an std and most get it as a child

Answer

Definitely sorry this happened to you. But unfortunately, for most, it is a deal breaker.

Answer

My cousin got it when she was a child from something that happened non sexually. She does missionary work, is an occupational therapist, and the nicest person I know. She’s only in her early 20s and hasn’t found someone she wants to settle down with but I hope she isn’t treated poorly by others because of something she didn’t contract knowingly.

Answer

My mom has herpes & she takes a pill every day & can no longer pass it onto anyone else as long as she takes that pill every day . People are misinformed about herpes, which is understandable as many people don’t talk about it. You can have herpes & not be “contagious”

Answer

Unfortunately it would be a deal breaker for me. 
It isn't for everyone though. You can find a partner who is ok with. They exsist. 
Best of luck and good on you that you are being honest with your partners. You are a person with N immense amount of integrity ND I believe that you will be duely rewarded for that.

Answer

There are dating sites for people who are STD positive. Life happens. Don’t beat yourself up. Now go off and find your love! Peace and blessing to you!

Is having had herpes a deal breaker?

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