Copy cat 3.5 yr old

Shalom

So I've got a little copy cat on my hands and not a nice one. He only seems to copy all the wrong things and give them back to me. It's been a power struggle. My ex-husband and I have agreed on gentle parenting, which he says is working great for him. With me, not so much. Kiddo has been hitting me, which I think he picked up from the couple of swats I've had to give, he's been telling me to "shut up" ( I said it once, cause he was screaming in the car and I was having an emotional phone call), "stop", "cut it out", that he's mad at me and that I'm mean. When he wants to rough house, he'll hit me or try to smack/scratch my face. When I try to get him to stop, set a boundary, he just gets upset with me and doesn't listen. I'm so tired 😫