My relationship hasn’t been the best lately. Lots of arguing and I go to bed crying more often then not. Last night I’ve realized that I’m the root of our problems. I am struggling with depression. I’ve allowed it to get out of control because I haven’t reached out for help. Which I’ve decided to do at my next appointment. Until then instead of being crazy. I’m trying to catch myself before i lose my shit. My husbands a good guy and he loves me. He’s never had a real gf before me and zero sex life pretty much. I was his first (he had others when we broke up for a year tho- but only had sex a total of 5 times with them) I’m the only one he’s ever got to practice with. He’s got a very low sex drive and he works so much. His job requires a lot of over time so we don’t spend any time together- meaning we don’t really have sex. Today I’ve spoke to him about my depression and he was supportive. After he got off work we took a shower together and got to just talk and spend time together in there. Which we never get to do since we have two other kids. Before we got out I gave him a bj just to show him he’s wanted and to make him feel good. I didn’t ask for or expect anything in turn. When I do that it usually means I don’t want to have sex. But. I’m laying here after he’s been asleep for two hours and all I can think about is I just miss how he feels inside of me. I want him so bad but it’s so hard finding time, bedtime isn’t it because the kids always end up in our bed so I can’t wake him up with anything. I think tomorrow I’m gonna tell him I miss him and see if we can do something. Maybe it’s hormones but I just need him right now