I freaked out my boyfriend and I did NOT mean to

TW: drug use.

I have always been honest with him about my past and my past drug use. To be blunt, I used to smoke meth. Luckily by the grace of god I pulled myself out of that shit and stopped and I’ve been sober for a year. I did not use that long, because it stopped being about fun and it started becoming something that I was doing where I didn’t really know why I was even doing it and it took major strength to get a grip and stop. But I did stop, and I am sober. I cut off every single person that uses so I’m not around it.

But because of it, because of seeking it out.. I met ALOT of people. Meth is a social drug, and because of that and how I saw it affect other people and myself I can spot someone who’s high on meth clear as day.

I am not the only person in his life that has a past with this drug. His mother used his whole childhood and went to prison for it. She’s out now and can’t support herself so he lets her stay with him rent free as long as she stay sober and keeps a job and helps with bills and food here and there. She’s kept her end well and I honestly do not mind her living with him I think shes nice. She will just bring us food out of nowhere or she buys food and cooks dinner.

So last night she had people over just for a little bit and one of them was her boyfriends friend. She didn’t know him that well…He was talking fast, and changing the subject every 10 seconds. I could barely keep up with what this man was saying. He was also very happy, couldn’t quit moving, standing up and then sitting down. Fidgeting, doing this weird thing with his mouth (that I used to do when high) and his eyes were huge and for the first time since I quit I felt triggered. I was watching him and I started feeling sick and dizzy and I can’t really explain why? He was high and I knew it and I didn’t like it at all. I got up and pretended I needed to pee and my man could tell something was wrong and followed me and I said “that dude is tweaking. I have no doubt in my mind, and I don’t really want be around him.”

My boyfriend started panicking thinking because this dude was around that his mom was using. And I was like nah.. I was just sitting next to her and she’s not high. She’s way too normal.

So I get a grip and walk out there and again and sit next to her to just see how she’s acting because I really didnt pay attention to her I could only see the person that came over talking 1000 mph.

I looked at her and she’s looking at this man like 😑😑😑 rolling her eyes, giving him this dirty ass look. Looking at her man, then looking at the guy like are you FUCKING kidding me. Her attitude was fierce af she was mad.

I’m telling you, anyone who has done meth before can SPOT that shit we KNOW. It takes one to know one.

Eventually she gets up and shes like “it was nice having you over but we have to work in the morning so we’re gonna be heading to bed soon.” He got up and said “okay goodnight y’all.” And she said “pfft. Yeah. Bye.”

Later in the night I was like I really don’t think your mom is using I think that sometimes we run into people who are and there’s nothing you can do about that. She’s already lived that life and clearly wants to do better. I think she’s okay. So I got him to calm down some. I still feel really bad because he went through a lot of hurt losing his mom to this stuff.

I truly honest to god do not think she’s using.

And tbh, as weird as this sounds… sitting next to her gave me the strength to stay in the room.