i really need help

So my boyfriend says he has e.d

he and i will start foreplay and itll be really fun and he’ll be super had and then like a minute after hes inside of me i feel him get half soft and his vibe changes… and he gets super insecure about it and sometimess if too much foreplay he comes in like 2 minutes and every time we switch positions or whave to grab lube or like handcuffs or rope or whatever he gets soft immediately and like i don’t mind that he fingers me or eats me out when that happens but like what the fuck… he gets so down and anxious and insecure when this happens, we both vape and drink caffiene..?? also im super into bdsm and hes not super into it but hes trying and starting to get into it but he doesnt like tieing me up or like light pain stuff and that really stresses me out because ive explored my sexuality and know what i want and need and the fact that i might never be able to explore that more brings me down.. also if he gets soft i comfort him but then i never get off at all… what do i do