Should I message my ex husband?

Question

He abandoned me when I was 4 months pregnant. On a planned pregnancy he acted so happy about.
Just up and left because he didnt love me anymore, wanted more fun, and was talking to a woman while deleting msgs (cheated? Who knows).
He just..left. I got a lawyer. Got him on child support which he pays. Filed for divorce. Had to scramble and get a life together for my son and I.
We have an agreement set out for parenting time but he lives in another state and just isnt trying at all. He simply pays child support and doesnt communicate otherwise. Period.
He asked for pics one time but we were still in the middle of building our agreement. Lawyers didnt respond to him on that.
Other than that, he hasnt talked to me about our son. 
I guess I want to reach out (2yrs later) to ask.. what the HELL?! He gave me no answers why he left me. Does he WANT to be in our sons life? Whats the freaking deal…
I know it sounds bad but my life is soo stressful now without him. Being a single mom. Its tearing me apart i feel like im drowning. I miss company. I know it sounds awful, its just so hard. And i have so much anger because this is his child too

Answer

I wouldnt clearly he dosent care

Answer

What you are feeling is very normal.
In all honesty, if he wanted to be there, he would be. Dont reach out. If he hasn't made the effort now he never will. I know you feel like you need closure but you just need to move on. Let the prick be and move forward.

Answer

I stopped at abandoned. Glimpsed at while pregnant and was even more appalled. Life showed you this man wasn’t worthy of what you deserve. There’s better out there and this isn’t it. Don’t run back to someone who left you in one of the most venerable stages of your life.

Answer

If you want clarity/closure, then go for it. But he sounds like a total asshole who probably won't tell you anything.

Answer

I wouldn’t. If he hasn’t reached out it’s only going to  hurt you more and if not your son. I would try to find a babysitter and get out once in awhile try to meet new people. Just because your a mom don’t mean u can’t get a little time for yourself. I commend you though. Single moms are fucking super hero’s seriously! I’m super lucky enough to have amazing partner who is an amazing dad but I often think of he weren’t around life would be obviously a lot harder. Take some time for you, don’t go backwards though I advise you to meet new people!!!

Answer

You said yourself, you miss company etc. Find a friend. Start dating. Go back and you’ll get hurt again, your son too. Obviously he doesn’t care about either of you

Answer

Honestly he’s showing who he is and what he wants and maybe he’ll regret it some day but I think your son will be better off not having a shitty dad. I didn’t meet mine til I was 15 and that was the last time I ever saw him. He was so messed up and treated me horribly even after having the courage to meet him, when I had already been adopted by another man. I wish I never met him. My adopted dad wasn’t a good guy either and parents divorced when I was 7. I don’t speak to him either now. It’s much better this way than constantly being put through things kids should never have to go through.

Should I message my ex husband?

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