Hiya it's been months since Iast posted. Anyway back in July my whole world fell apart. The love of my life broke up with me. We were together for 2 1/2 years. The pain I felt and sometimes still feel ( but ot as much because I think I'm just numbing the pain ) was terrible. Anyway this is just a small rant or my just expressing my feelings.

I miss you. It's almost been 9 months since Iast saw your face, since I last actually laughed so much that my face hurts. Since I last kissed you lips. Since I last felt unconditionally loved.

You wanted me to not contact you for 3 months. That failed miserably. You wanted me to move on and to forget you. 9 months after of going on a few dates doing my best to move on and it still sucks. I can not forget you. How dare you ask me to do that. The reason I dated you, fell madly in love with you, gave you my heart etc was because you were different. Very different from the guys I used to talk to, try to date, get to know blah blah blah. Oh don't even get me started about the different scenarios that iv come up with of the "real" reason why you decided to shatter my heart into a billion pieces. Iv convinced myself that 2 of them are true ( yay me 😂🙄😭 )

During those first 5 months iv never been so low, I was past rock bottom. I was becoming someone who I didn't like, someone who I always stayed not to be. 9 months later.... it still hurts. I'm tired of hurting.

If by some magical chance you are reading this. I failed. Am I'm still failing. I'm sorry I broke our promise.