Counting down the days until my c-section. (23 now…)

I have a one year old who still wakes up in the middle of the night and thinking about how long it’s gonna take to get a routine down with her and a newborn is throwing me into a depression . Not to mention the million times I wake up by myself at night because I’m in pain, or have to pee.

All this thinking has caused me to not bond with the new baby. I just keep thinking “this is not what I wanted , I don’t want another kid.” And I know that isn’t right , but that’s just how I feel! I feel like I’m gonna have postpartum depression big time .

We moved right before I found out I was pregnant farther away from anyone who was a 20 minute drive for help . Now we live almost an hour away. I’m starting to panic a little bit , it feels so unreal that a newborn will be in my home , in just a matter of a few weeks. 😭 I’m thinking about starting therapy over the whole thing really…. I’m so nervous . All I can really do is roll with the punches as they come …. 😥