Too scared to test

I miscarried at the end of August. My first cycle after it was 44 days. The next was 32 days. My cycles before the mc were between 30 and 32 days. I'm now on day 39 of this cycle. I didn't think getting pregnant this cycle was possible because my hubby was out of town for 2 weeks during the estimated fertile time. Yesterday and today I've been cramping on my right side and have had sore breasts. I don't want to take a hpt because of the fear of another mc if it's positive. If it's not then where is AF????