Why are huge cocks so desirable when it hurts?!!!!

My first time I had a guy that was 6 inches and it was magical but turns out he was a whore that got around and other women exposed him for being little

I didn't say anything at the time but I kept thinking about that orgasm, felt like an explosion of goodness and I wanted more of it

I move on to a guy that's 9 inches, when I saw it I frowned I could feel that the sex was whack then I fucked around and found out. He had no rhythm, it was painful and he was just ramming me the whole time. I tried to teach him hell we even seen a sex therapist still nada!

My family and friends think I'm weird for wanting to end it because of his size. They tell me he's a dream and mocks me for wanting 5-7 inches. Why do huge guys get so much hype? I will never understand it!

*It is strange to me that others can't openly and freely talk about sex/genitalia/sexual attraction/etc to their loves ones. The women who raised me were always like The Fockers, from Meet The Fockers. I was so happy when that movie came out my dad is a censored version of the dad but he pretty much thinks the same, sex is a part of adult human life I wasn't raised to be ashamed of that. My mom recommended the sex therapist*